I’ve legitimately almost died twice now in my life and both times were pretty different from each other. The way that I look at it, you can’t predict it and you can’t control it so you shouldn’t worry about it a whole lot.

Personally, was considering a potent opioid overdose. Bliss out and stop breathing. The end.

Everyone dies. Only certainty of life.

As part of my job in the hospital I often interact with dying people and their families. Palliative care - caring for people in the last period of their lives, in the UK focuses on patient experience and patient priorities. We generally aim for as pain free and as comfortable an end as possible and have medication which can usually make this a possibility.

The dying process for most people is a lot like falling asleep. They get more and more sleepy and spend less time awake. Eventually they go to sleep and the breathing starts changing with bigger gaps between breaths and eventually the breathing stops.

If it’s done well it’s a peaceful process with minimal pain and agitation.

If this is something you are concerned about it might be worth talking to your doctor about it. We have the RESPECT process in the UK which is a guided conversation about things important to the patient around the end of their life with medical recommendations for what is appropriate (not every treatment is appropriate for every patient).

Even in the absence of right-to-die laws, from what I’ve seen with older relatives, once the healthcare providers know what’s what and divert you to hospice care, the drugs take care of the visible pain and, frankly, consciousness. These are generally practical, kind people who understand the odds and don’t want to see suffering.

Best option is while you’re young do everything to ensure your country or place you live has an assisted dieing legislation that allows healthcare professionals help you when the time comes.

The drugs they can offer let you just drift off to sleep and you don’t wake up again.

I would suggest dealing with your death anxiety through counseling so it doesn’t consume your life.

I mean when, let’s say, I have one day, a week or a month left to live suffering from an illness

The likelihood you’ll have any clue your going to die in such a short time as a month is extremely low. You’re much more likely going to die in an instant through fatal injury or bodily failure like a heart attack or brain aneurysm. Lets say you live to 85 years old and are finally dying of something entirely predictable for old age like congestive heart failure or late discovered end-stage cancer. You’re going to be long past having any energy or ability to do anything about without help.

If you actually get some kind of clear guidance you’re going to die from a prolonged (meaning not instant) ordeal, you’ll likely be in hospice where they will give you amazing narcotic drugs in whatever massive doses you need so you feel no pain and are simply swimming in dopamine as your body gives out.

The takeaway is, there’s no point trying to spend your healthy hours trying to plan for something like this. No plan you can think of will be useful even in the extremely unlikely scenario, the conditions you imagine do happen.

Thing is, you won’t know. How could you?

I’ve been through it once and was at good health as doctors put it (not the trump like good health).

So live your life as you want to, it being over might be unexpected.

To quote Hamlet, “There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.”

Everyone has to do things they don’t want to, and dying is just one of those things. But wisdom lies in knowing that it’s not the thing itself that hurts you, but the wanting.

Death is the end

Do you judge a book on it last page, paragraph, or its sentence, or its last word, or its last punctuation, or the last page number at the very bottom right?

I certainly dont, i judge the book for the book it was, in totality (or as much of it as i remember).

Life is the journey, not the end. The end isnt the point, nor the goal, nor even the destination - its just a point no different than any of the others.

Release yourself from worrying about one moment, and allow yourself to see the beauty and capability of the entire life

I found this book very comforting - Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs and Communications of the Dying by Maggie Callanan.

I think the scariness comes from lack of familiarity. Getting a closer look at what it’s actually like for dying people can help us face our eventual end.

Do you live in a country or state where MAID (medical assistance in dying) is legal?

If you do, those laws allow for better than do-it-yourself options.

The idea of killing yourself because you may one day have a heart attack is bonkers but say you have some slow degenerative disease that’s a lot more understandable

I’ve had a NDE, it was calm, peaceful and I felt nothing but a mild sense of awe looking at what seemed to me to be a huge brightly glowing spark/orb that despite being impossibly bright didn’t hurt my eyes

To live is to suffer, you can’t avoid that but I don’t think actually dying is scary maybe if what leads you there is violent or painful that would be but actually crossing over? I don’t think that will be suffering

I’d say just try to make your last thoughts happy ones. Think about a happy memory

let’s say, I have one day, a week or a month left to live suffering from an illness,

A big problem with this line of thinking is that in real life you rarely know this, especially while remaining aware enough to commit to such a plan. It’s just a prognosis, based on averages.

or I know that after a while I’m going to have a heart attack that will definitely kill me.

1. You want to give up your remaining time because a heart attack is in your future? Usually you can reduce the chances with diet, exercise and medication.
2. For many heart attacks, survivability is directly related to how quickly you get medical attention.

Generalizing this back to what I believe is the goal of your question, it’s rarely certain or predictable. When it is, you may already be too far gone to make such choices (hence legal documents like DNR)